bye bye blogger

well, blogger has served me well, for this period of investigating my long-hidden computer geekness within....my new blog is

here

check her out!

so long folks!

love Jen

a new look

well, things are changing. so i thought, why not give my ol' blog a face lift? a wise soul told me just the other day that it is i who choose to be scatter-brained. perhaps this is true. so i am seeking to living afresh, with a mind set on the future...anyone who knows me well enough might have some inkling as to the meaning of my new title. feel free to ask, if you're curious.

so i leave for korea in 3 weeks. wow. i'm feeling a mass of different things - excited, scared, but right now, most of me feels like i'm being pulled by someone a lot bigger than me, someone named Responsibility, and i'm skidding my heals, resisting the change. i love kingston.... being in chicago, as great as it has been, makes me eager to go home. to my house, my street, my soren, my church, my girls. i don't feel ready to go....and i'm not talking practical details. but then again i was ready as ever to go to Maui, and disappointment awaited me. so perhaps this will be a great thing. i'll be independent like never before in my life. i'll actually be making money instead of going further into debt! i'll be with kids everyday, and my sole task will be to making their learning fun and meaningful. i can't wait to meet my kids! i already have so many ideas. i'll be teaching, btw, ages 7-12. crazy. i have a feeling i'll be learning lots about patience.

that wise soul told me something else that made a lot of sense to me. he told me that there are never problems, only momentary glitches. i've been feeling sort of uneasy lately, like i want to get on with a debt-free life, like, now. but i think i've realized that my thoughts regarding how i think my life should go are irrelevant. God may want me to experience a lot of things in these next two years that i wouldn't have the opportunity to before i go to seminary (the plan, btw, is to go to Regent seminary in Vancouver once i can pay off my debt and save enough to go for 3 or 4 years)...the older i am when i return to school, the more meaningful and insightful questions i can ask. and living in another culture, learning another language - man, that will offer me many riches, i think.

everything will work out great. for those who pray, i ask you pray for me in the coming weeks. pray that my soul will be calm and i will trust that God is closer than my skin, and i am never alone. Pray also for a community in Pusan that i will grow to love as much as the one in Kingston. And to all you Kingstonians, i love you. And if you love me.....hehehe....you will TRY and come to my party next week! Thursday, August 11th at 8:00 - a Wine and Yummy-Things party...at Rhonda's house, just down the street (colborne) from my old one - I'll get the # and email you all. If anyone from outside of kingston wants to come, do! it will be great. i cannot wait.

between now and isabella, many things will change. but you will not, o Maker. and i beseech you, come, and do life with me till we get there, and teach me how to live the things i know.


-J.

sleeeeeeeeepy

all my thinking and playing and running around at the multiple parks and pools and libraries with my neice and having debates with the "extra narrow-minded legalistic imperialist", as my brother's best friend likes to be known as, and his mates at the counseling center today wore me out....i will post a very extensive and enlightening post tommorrow. you'll see, the angels will sing at the wonder of it.

chicago is good though....... a very vacationesque time i am having.....

-J

widgets are my new best friend

ok - how COOL is this - i'm on my brand new ibook right now and my brother downloaded all the newest mac software and I am discovering how fun widgets are! for all you PC folks who have not yet converted to the simplicity and eloquence of macs - widgets are these cool little tools that you can put on your dashboard that make your life a little easier - like i'm writing this from a widget called "dashblog" and i don't have to go to my blog to do so! or i have mapquest widget or a recipe make widget and i have time zone widgets for korea and toronto, plus currency converter widgets - and a widget that puts little flowers in a jar when i get new emails! whoever thought being a mac geek would be so much fun!! k, i'm gonna go play some more now....

-J

I'm going to South Korea!!

Well, finally, folks, today I accepted a job (eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhheeeeheeee!!!) in Pusan,(or Busan, the P and B and the same in Korea) South Korea! It is an amazingly beautiful southeastern coastal city, yes right on the OCEAN, and it has mountains and rivers and places to hike and climb and scuba dive and stuff....i know like 5 people from my church who have been there and they all said that it was really a very earthy, cultural, historical city...a big seaport....so WAHOO!!!!! I'm very excited....this guy, my recruiter from Korea, phoned me today and answered all my questions and it turns out he's from Austrailia and he too is a Christian! So he said that there are a lot of English-speaking churches in Pusan which are very good....yeah - thanks, God!! And the package is great - i'll be able to save quite a bit because they pay for EVERYTHING....rent, airfare, medical - it's great! For all of you who care to learn more about this city that i'll be spending the next 12 months of my life in, the website is www.pusanweb.com - check her out!

so....the dealio pour moi for the next few weeks is:

1. since, as some of you know, i'm no longer working at the Lonestar (something about me being too scatterbrained, Ryder???! it's all good though!), I'm officially leaving kingston this thursday, will go home to Barrie (to my parents' new house!), sort stuff out, and pack.

2. then, i'll go to Chicago with the 'rents for a week and visit my brother and niece and nephew and celebrate their birthdays.

3. next, i'll return to barrie, and paint my parent's new house to earn some mula, and hang out with the Willow Day Camp crew and some Harvestites (!!)

4. then, i'll RETURN TO KINGSTON FOR A KILLER GOODBYE PARTY ON THURSDAY, AUGUST 11th - all you kingstonians better be there!!!!! (will fill you in on the details soon.) then I'll watch Jared get ordained at Next on the sunday, and say my tearful see-ya-later to my dear dear kingston.....:(....but redeemingly get to spend the weekend in k-town with my BEST FRIEND in the whole wide world - love you Christy!

5. then go back home for 5 days, pack pack pack and all that jazz

6. then i'll go to Esther and Dave's wedding on August 20th...my 4th one this sum...

7. finally, i'll FLY OFF to Korea on AUGUST 25th!!!! Yeah...its a frikin 21 hour flight and then a 6 hour trainride....but the coolio thing is that my Korean friend who lives next door to me will be in Korea and will come with me to Pusan and stay with me for a bit!! sweetness, i KNOW....

so Hurray!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm really really excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think in honour of this new chapter of my life I will start a brand new blog....I'll keep y'all posted....on when and the addy, etc....this random thoughts thing is getting a little....well, SO last year....

k, love you friends!
-J.

i'm just overqualified, folks....

so I've been offered positions in both Busan, South Korea, and in "various locations" in Taiwan - both teaching kindergarten-elementary kids....and yes, I am thrilled, but dang - it was just way too easy to sink these jobs!....I basically sent my resume, picture, and cover letter all over (although i avoided Iran this time:)) and then I started getting massive amounts of badly-written, horrible english emails from everywhere ("Hi Jen! we like resume, i would love talk on phone soon. We like come Korea." - and I was like: geez, these people reeeeeally need my help....) So anyways, I had a phone "interview" on Sunday with a woman from Korea, and she was basically begging me to come -she kept saying that with my qualifications and experience I would be an excellent asset to the school - it's cuz I have a B.Ed, and most ESL teachers just have any old B.A. and a TESL certificate....but anyways, I felt like I could've demanded a limo to pick me up at the airport and free season's passes to the nearest ski resort and she would have agreed....anyhoo, that i did not do, but basically the job is mine for the taking, and it seemed like a decent one....I always swore that I would not go to Korea because I've heard horror stories about it - but most of the bad jobs are in crazy concrete-jungle Seoul teaching business men, and Busan is a smaller city right on the ocean farher south - I've been told its a lot "earthier" and "relaxed," and its a fishing port apparerently...so this all seems much more me....and the Taiwan one is through the other guy who offered me the UAE job before the school crapped out on them....

BUT, I'm holding out for the UAE...I feel it is where God is leading me....there is sooooo many reasons now why I want to go to the middle east, I really just want to be involved in Arab/Indian culture, and I want to travel in Egypt and Israel, and the church there is apparently wicked because there are so many young people from all over the world - like S. Africa and Britain and Austrailia - how cool is that??? ...so pray people, cuz I could be hearing wrong.

love you all,
Jen

p.s. the silly thing that allows for easy commenting stopped working, I'll set it back up soon...so just email me for now!

Jahan's offer and a brand new ibook

so all week this is what i've done....sat in my room, on my dad's LOUD, old, crappy '95 PC laptop and sent out resumes all over the world - taiwan, korea, poland, iran, UAE....and then i realized halfway through the week....hmmmm, maybe i should only send my resume to places that i really WANT to go to, instead of just everywhere...reason? oh, i got a phonecall from a guy in Ottawa who is conducting phone interviews for a sketchy job that i applied to in Tahran, Iran....yep, so i look it up on a Lonely Planet site, and it says, of the city, "Iran's capital is definately not the most beutiful place in the world, as the pollution, crowds, and traffic jams are much of the focus....but the museums are great." wonderful...i may be hot, sick, clausterphobic, and wait in traffic for 3 hours a day, but hey! at least i get to see some ancient iranian jars that nobody cares about. sweet! ....no, none the less, i'm not calling this guy back, and i think i'm going to stick to more appealing places to send out my resume.....my next door neighbour tim took the photo for it and he did quite the fixin up on it, so needless to say, when the people who hire me meet me for the first time, they're going to be like "who ARE you? how did your skin get so pourous and blemishy and your teeth so yellow?" ha...oh well, by then i'll have already signed my contract, suckers....

in other news, i have a new ibook! well, technically, my brother should have it by now....my dad bought an Mac ibook G3 for me for grad and he's getting it sent to my bro in the states and i'll get it in July...i'm sooooooo excited cuz then i'll actually be able to listen to music and upload pictures and see what being a MAc geek is all about....i've always wanted to know....

ah, one more thing....if you all think about it, pray for the Raponi's - David, especially....pray for peace, forgiveness, understanding, and the nearness of God. Pray for me, too - that I will be forgiving and peace-bearing and understanding. Pray that God will be near me.

thanks, y'all.

i'll say goodnight, not goodbye.

J.

the classy pick-up

k, funniest thing EVER - so after kind of a sketchy weekend, i had a great hilarious shift at the Lonestar tonight...
the best thing in the world is to have fun with your tables....so these four guys come in and order two pitchers of Keiths...and we're joking around and such about stuff, and then i ask them if they want more chips...they say no, because they're too warm, and its too hot outside...so they ask if i can make "ice chips" so i tell them i'll see what i can do....so THEN, i come back with half a bowl of chips with a mountain of ice cubes on top - ha! twas funny....but folks, the story doesn't end there....

so the guy tries to pay with a credit card, and afterwards, as i'm going to pick up the slip, i noticed that he left me his number on it, saying "call me"...but the hilarious thing is, he left me the wrong slip so i'm thinkin that i'll have to pay for this bill...so i run out to try to find him , and he's gone...so then, my great friend Sheriff says, "hey, why don't you call him, and let him know?" so i'm of course, all game....so i call him and leave a msg, to the effect of, "um hi, Peter? this is Seniorita from the Lonestar...um, yah, i just thought i'd let you know that its pretty smooth of you to try to pick me up and then leave me the wrong slip, so now i have to pay for your beer. way to go. hey, so if you don't mind coming down to the Lonestar and giving me my 38 bucks, that would be great. thanks!" ha....so it turns out, i didn't have to pay for the beer but i just lost the tip...still...sooooooo funny...

on another note, i have the best friends in the world. seriously, i'm loving my girls these days....the last month hasn't really been steller for me...and my truest friends have really showed their true colours....here's thanking God for Christy, Kathy, Sarah O., Emma, Anne, Esther, Jessie and Anna....you girls rock and i'm thrilled to know you...its nice to have friends that you know you can count on...and even when we all make mistakes, forgiveness is jumping at the door....and that's sweet to know.


and now for sleep.
i love Sheriff, btw. :)

J.

unlikeness

The lesson of my life thus far: God is more concerned that I am different than that I am popular. He doesn’t want me to blend in, to be like everyone else. I am to be odd. Separate. Independent. I am to respond differently to catastrophe. I am to look differently, to have a unique perspective. I am to think differently. I am to work differently. I am to ooze unlikeness. I am to turn the other cheek. I am to love those who wish me harm.I am to forgive and carry on. I am to respond with grace and humility, and if that means to receive a little injustice on this earth, so be it. God is in control and one day His justice will be complete. Great I Am, praise you.

Too bad to carry through with this is much less romantic than proclaiming my intentions….

Father...do it for me?

J.

its a start, but only that

i'm glad that the problem of the third-world debt is making international headlines these days....for those of you who know nothing about it, here is a great intro article found on cbc webpage:

www.cbc.ca/story/world/national/2005/06/10/african-debt050610.html

click on the "in-depth" link - it provides a great overview for the problems and solutions surrounding the third world debt.

pray for our world leaders, that they would make wiser and more selfless decisions that would benefit our poor global neighbours.

may we all seek to think globally, act locally, and serve the poor in our own communities first.

J.

a closed door

so i didn't get the job in the UAE...i called the guy last week and he said that they received some devastating news from the school - apparently they are switching to a British curriculum and are now hiring only British ex-patriates to teach there. ah well, though, it wasn't meant to be. i'm always excited when there is an obvious block in my plans like this because i know that God has something better....what, though? don't know right now. i'm sending out my ESL resume to places in the UAE right now (Dubai, i think) and all over rural Taiwan. The guy who recommended me for hire said that he would for sure hire me for a Canadian language institute in Seoul, S. Korea, but I'm not sure I want to live there...when i was there last year for a bit on the way home from Nepal, i remember not liking the concrete-jungle-ness of it....i need trees, and water, and preferably, mountains and dirt roads....so anyways, we'll see. keep me in your prayers, pray for wisdom and clarity of mind to make a healthy decision that will grow me and that i will love...

love you all,

J.

thankyou tim forbes

so after a looooooong day at work, all i have to say is this:

life is way too short to abort friendships...we need all the ones we can get.

my next door neighbour tim gave me the best advice that i've heard in a long time: true friendships are not self-aware - they just are. you don't analyze them, you don't chase them - they just exist. if its this complicated early on, cut your losses, because its not going to get any easier.

so don't abort friendships but don't fret over the ones that abort you? i don't get it. i don't want to be aborted at all.

Cheers (from Lonestar) said last night, "people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime."


whatever. am i too greedy if i want all three?

feels closer to bliss

wow...sooooooo much to tell i don't even know where to start! so say hello to your brand new granduand!! (no, i didn't spell that wrong, apparently Queen's is too pretentious to spell the word how the rest of the world does.) Yep, i graduated yesterday - well, okay - there is a funny story here - um, i didn't actually GET my diploma but i got a tube like everyone else but with a piece of paper in it that said something to the effect of "um, Jen, you suck. you forgot to pay your $36.75 in library fines, and because the University is so needing desparately that money you can't have this piece of paper which is the key to your future unless you pay it to us. haha."
yeah, such is my university career summed up.

i'm workin at the Lonestar which is going fab - i love it and it's so fun and the people make it so worth it....I'm outside all day in a cool cow-girl like outfit introducing myself in broken Mexi-spanish and doing singing human pyramids for people's birthdays - what more could one ask in a summer job?

no news yet on abu dhabi - pray people - cuz i really want this job! i'm still awaiting a second phone interview and the guy in TO keeps telling me it'll be "any day now" but it's not really up to him anymore - i have the feeling i'm competing with tons of people from all over canada so who knows....i'm chasing other leads in the same area though - because my heart is so set on going to that country - i've been reading Middle East travel guides and studying a bit on Islam and I really really really want to go there....

going to abi and chris' wedding tomorrow and camping overnight in the open field where they are getting married - jared spent tonight turning his cowboy shirt into a clerical collar - like a priest collar - dude - this hippie wedding is going to be so much fun...!!!

so yeah, life is good and i'm feeling great....much .....um.....different than the last post....eek...i'm loving kingston and next and my friends to death and am so glad i am here this summer....

k i'm out! must finish knitting abi and chris' wedding present (shhh...i'm knitting them his and her bikini/undergarments - bright red with blue stars - i cannot wait till they open it!)

p.s. abi is my next door neighbour who also was in my small group at Next and who was also my pottery instructor...she's a really great girl...

k now i'm really out!

now we see through a mirror dimly

nothing is what is seems...nobody is who they seem....is there anyone out there that can be fully trusted? is the world a safe place for a girl such as me? too trusting, too fragile, too willing to care for those types who treat my heart like a ping-pong ball, like a piece of useless rubble...God, bless them, as with all those who seek me harm…but please… not yet.

I’m beginning to understand why the Buddhist philosophy is so inticing ….i really wish that this all was an illusion and that there is no really is no spoon, no pain – it is all in my head, and I can breathe and will it all away….but, no….too many regretful mornings remind me that the brutal reality is that it that reality really does suck sometimes…

my deepest fear is that he was right...that they all were right...am i really that undesirable, that easy to toss aside without a second thought or a twinge of sorrow or regret ? Just when you think you are getting stronger, a person who you thought was on your side steals your confidence by switching teams and batting amongst all your life-long opponents that you have spent endless years convincing yourself that they were all in the wrong because you are indeed worth something….

So now I am through. Through, through, completely through. My two seconds of boundary-less self-pity and I am through. I refuse to allow my over-analyticalness to blind me to the fact that all is well with my soul because God is near me. He is closer than my skin and he is whispering to me….. that now I see through the mirror dimly, but one day I will see Him face to face, and I will understand…..thankyou God, that you know me better than myself and that this will be good for me…..and so - I will not waste the pain – no – I will learn, and grow, and change, and become… weaker….yes, for strength is over-rated… it is when I am weak, and vulnerable, and helpless – then alone am I strong….what good does self-confidence ever do but pollute your mind with the lie that you are ok on your own? That you need not to change or learn a thing or recklessly abandon your soul to God? No,I need you God, and thank you for this humble reminder that you are all that i could ever need. I will be confident in You and of Your plan to mold me and shape me remind me of what my focus should’ve always been…...Your work of renewal on this earth…..

From the Message, 2 Thess:

Live at peace, knowing that God is in control. Remember, he picked you out as his from the very beginning. You are included in the original plan of salvation through the bond of faith in the living truth. Stand firmly, then, feet on the ground, and head held high…hold fast to what you have been taught, for it is the way of Life.

Amen.
Moving on, here I come.

the PERFECT weekend

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Originally uploaded by hollograms.

ah....what an amazing time away....i spent the entire weekend with my bestest girlfriend in the whole wide world, Christy - I hadn't seen her all year cuz she was doing an internship for a trend forcasting company in NYC..so it was soooo great to spend some quality time with her.....I picked her up in T.O. on friday and then we went to corduroy's wedding (a friend from camp, the pics are down a bit), and then she came back to barrie with me....we went to a wedding shower on sat, and then visited friends all night, and just had an excellent time full of laughter, intense giggling sometimes, tears, and many soul-bearing chats....i feel so blessed to have her in my life and i thank God alone for her....you're awesome, Chris!!!

Barrie girls

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Originally uploaded by hollograms.

ah....soooooo awesome to see erin and sarah....we love these girls to death and hurray cuz erin is in love with a boy from australia! she met him at YWAM and he's living in the Osborne's basement for the time being.....how perfect.....so this was at annie's shower (who is marrying my friend matt and she's from cali!)...it was a perfect way to see all the women and girlies from Harvest/Willow...a very elegant afternoon....

Charlie's Angels!!!!

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Originally uploaded by hollograms.

yep, we are smokin'!!!! after the shower, christy and i headed to the end of saturday church to find cam and sarah so we could have a good ol' gab fest with sarah...sooooo great to catch up and tell our stories from the year....love you girls to death!!!

Happy Birthday Ash!!

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Originally uploaded by hollograms.

After coffee with sarah we headed down to Jack Astor's for ashley's b-day...it was good to see the Harvest/Bethel crew and catch up.....!

Jackie and Nathan's Wedding

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Originally uploaded by hollograms.

what a gorgeous beautiful wedding! in a green house in New Market - what a great idea. Jackie (aka corduroy) was one of my best girls from camp, whom i adore and miss so much, and Nathan Laverty i've known forever...i like dated him in grade 7! (i went with his family to Blackcreek Pioneer village for our first date - ha!!) anyways....a fabulous cute wedding - they're both skaters so they gave out little mini skateboards for the boys and candles for the girls....but screw that...i snagged me a skateboard....:)

introducing Lucy Charlize

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Originally uploaded by hollograms.

in between the ceremony and the reception christy and i went to visit my best friend from highschool, becky cripps, and her new baby girl! and i cannot believe how much jackson has grown! he's like 2 1/2 now! crazy eh??