how living in korea makes me feel better about myself

1. it doesn't take much to make me feel like the funniest person in the world. like for instance - i drive a motorcycle. and i'm a girl. and i have blonde hair. OH MY GOD - LOOK AT HER!!! SHE'S DRIVING A MOTORCYCLE!!! AND SHE'S A GIRL!!! AND SHE HAS BLONDE HAIR!!!! THAT IS SOOOO FUNNY!!!! LET'S LAUGH AND STARE AND POINT TO SHOW OUR AMUSEMENT!!!!! awesome. also, taxi drivers and starbucks servers and the like find it humourous whenever i speak any korean. i KNOW - it's SO funny!!! she knows how to say "please turn left here!" wow!

2. i am constantly feeling respected as a woman. like everywhere i go, people are telling me, "oh, so beautiful! so beautiful!" in the same breath that they ask me if i am a prostitute. well not in so many words, but they ask me if i'm russian, which here means, "so how much?" oh, plus there's the little matter of me teaching all the younger classes because i'm a woman. because naturally, women are better with younger kids, and older kids respect men more. even though our male teacher is a qualified elementary school teacher and i'm a qualified high school teacher. it's just so logical. and not sexist at all. (hehe, she said "sex!" quick! pretend we don't know what she means! play the language barrier card!")

3. i consistently feel validated as a serious educator. like for instance today, my supervisor told me that there have been complaints that i am not working through the textbooks fast enough. k, so my TEN YEAR OLD children who go to school from 9am-11pm are supposed to go through 8 pages a day, and that's only for MY class. then they've got 2 other classes to do homework for, in which they have to memorize like 100 vocab words, which they will forget by the end of the hour after the test and which they will never know how to use in a proper sentence. and THEN they've got to do their homework for Science Hagwon (academy), Computer Hagwon, and Math Hagwon. Yet I should be giving them more homework. Because piling on more work and showing the parents they've finished 400 pages in 6 weeks is totally the point of education. COMPRENDING something? RETAINING information? Actually being able to have a free-flowing conversation? What's all that? Complain! That darn teacher isn't pushing my child hard enough! He's actually ENJOYING her class!!!

4. the number 4 has always been my lucky number. it's my birthday (January 4) and has always been my sports number on teams and such. here the korean word for 4 is the same word for "death." some buildings don't have the floor number 4, they change it to "F," because nobody, apparently, wants to live on the floor of death (can't figure out why). also, when i wanted to get my phone, and they asked me what number i wanted, i said "4444" and they gasped and said no! i guess they figured it would go over well - "call me! 010- 4572- death-death-death-death." perfect.

5. i feel the love from my students. little truth-telling weasels they are. "teacher! today shirt so ugly!" "teacher, what is THAT?" (pointing to a large red zit on my face). "teacher! you look like alien with 1000 babies in your stomach!" "teacher! you sick? you look sick." "teacher! that black sweater makes you look like witch!" just what every girl wants to hear. now excuse me while i go slit my wrists.


ah korea.....gotta love it.


J.