Easter Vigil

Last night I went to the most intense, beautifully dramatic, ancient feeling, creative, awe-inspiring Easter Vigil at Church of the Redeemer in downtown Toronto. My breath was taken away.


When I arrived the historic parish was in partial darkness, and I was given a candle and a bell, and stumbled down the center aisle to sit with my friends, who thankfully were looking for me too, or else I would have been stumbling in the dark for quite a while. As I sat down I took in my surroundings: dark, ancient feeling stain glass windows, the high medieval arches, the cold, cobblestone walls contrasted with the rich, robust, mahogany beams.

Within a few minutes the Reverend appeared, our friend Andrew Asbil who has presided at Wine Before Breakfast, and he was dressed in pure white,almost glowing priestly vestments. He slowly walked into the center spotlight, looked solemnly over the congregation, and said,

"It all starts with a cry."

He was talking about a newborn, who enters this world almost intuitively feeling the weight of the misery that is to come, and echoes it all with a cry. He went on to talk about his own children (this is an Anglican priest, remember), and how often they have cried out to him in the night many, and how tonight, WE are those children, crying out, "Aaaabaaa! Where are you? Why did you leave?" For in the darkness between Good Friday and Easter, Jesus had died, and we were left here, and it was almost as if God himself had left.

The lights went down and he left the stage, and a procession of the candle-bearers, deacons, cross-bearer (i don't know if that's their real titles but it works for now), dressed all in white robes, came down the aisle, and the candle-bearer, Amy Fisher's friend, who was the cutest little 36 year old I'd ever met, raised her tall candle high, and chanted eerily: "The li-ght of Chriiiist" and the congregation responded, "Tha-anks be to Gauuuuud" and this happened three times during there walk down the aisle. We all had to turn towards the cross as it was coming down, so our backs would not be towards it. Then the deacons who were holding smaller candles lit the candles of those sitting on the end of the pews, which so happened to be me, and then we solemnly passed the light down the pews.

What followed was the telling of the entire sweeping epic of the Scriptures, from beginning to end, through chant, scripture readings of creation, the exodus, captivity and exile, and the coming of the Liberator, the Christ, all accompanied with the most incredible choir that made the stories come alive with their sound effects (wind, rushing water, dissonant sounds and awe-filled wondrous sounds), plus exotic instruments, steal drums, instruments i don't know their names. Then there were incredible old familiar gospel songs like "Dry Bones" "I went down to the River to pray" that were quite peppy and we all sang along. It was incredibly moving, and i felt like i was part of a world renowned dramatic performance.

Then came the renewal of our baptismal covenant. We had to affirm again our belief that as God liberated the Israelites from Egypt, and as Ezekiel say the resurrection of the dry bones, so we buried with Christ in his death, are risen with him in newness of life, liberated from the curse of sin and alivened with the Spirit. Then the entire congregation was sprinkled with water using these fir tree branches that were dipped in water. As the choir sang, the priest walked solemnly around the whole church, dipping and sprinkling us all. My heart pounded and then soared, pounded and soared. I was loving this.

The dramatic climax was equally as incredible: The priest declared that "He is Risen!!" and the congregation all rung their bells loudly and shouted, "He is Risen indeed! Alleluia! Alleluia!" speaking "Alleluia" for the first time since Ash Wednesday. We kept ringing them as the choir sang a bright and glorious chorus, as the lights all came on and as the altar, which had been stripped bare on Good Friday, was redressed with bright tapestries, and flowers were brought up to adorn the altar from all sides, and our priest friend Andrew was adorned in golden and blue stitched priestly vestments. Stunning! And how fun to ring those bells, with 500 others, for like 10 minutes!!

Then was our first Eucharist celebration of Easter, and then the priest completed his homily which he had started in the beginning: Christ is here, he is alive, our cries have been answered in him, there is hope.

We sang more, the choir sang more, we finished with some historic, rich prayers, and then the party began! Live music, wine, good food, and great new friends to meet! I love this church!

And so I came home, inspired, and having to write the prayers for our Easter celebration today, I wrote this:


Easter Sunday Prayer Litany
'River'service at St. Anne's Anglican Church
April 4, 2010


One:
Glorious Risen One, today we rejoice that you did not leave this world in darkness, but you came to awaken it to new life with the eternal light of your presence,that you showed us the way to everlasting harmony with You, with all of our sisters and brothers, and with all of creation. We rejoice that though you entered into the darkness of good Friday, and though you allowed for the full wrath of the powers of this world to be unleashed upon you, that was not the end of the story. Because you arose from the grave, we can say together:

All:
Light is stronger than darkness
Love is stronger than hate
For we know that our Redeemer lives
And we’ll stand with him on that day

One:
Living Savior, indeed we do rejoice that you did not remain in that cold, dark cave,
forever to be forgotten in the dusty pages of history. But as you rose you defeated the very power of death, and with it, you loosened the grip of sin that had held all of creation. We pray, Lord, that all those experiencing today the lingering effects of that curse, those suffering from isolation, oppression, persecution, and infinite sadness, that they may find fresh strength in the good news that this need not be the end of their story. For we remember together:

All:
Light is stronger than darkness
Love is stronger than hate
For we know that our Redeemer lives
And we’ll stand with him on that day

One:
For those who lack food, work, or a home, for those who seem to have lost their way, for those who are sick, in pain, or are grieving, for those who fear the future, for those who fear the present, or are paralyzed by fears from their past, may you comfort and strengthen them, and may we remind them, in word and deed, that because of this day, Death is swallowed up in victory. Where, Oh death is your victory? Where, Oh death is your sting? Thanks be to you, oh God, who has given us the victory through Jesus Christ our Lord. For it is true what we proclaim together:

All:
Light is stronger than darkness
Love is stronger than hate
For we know that our Redeemer lives
And we’ll stand with him on that day

One:
But in the meantime, Lord, before that day, we remain in a world that seems to be overcome with darkness and hate. We hear of wars, of earthquakes, of famine, of disease. We pray for your healing presence Lord, to rush through the nations, for peace to become more than a distant dream. We pray for your wisdom to flood through the minds of our nations’ leaders, that they may advocate for the weak, the poor, for those in distress, and for the crying earth. And let us find comfort that this is not the end of the story, but we await the final act of the drama that is yet to come, when Christ will come again to restore Your Reign of Peace forever upon this earth. Until then, we pray that we may always be reminded, that because You have risen today:

All:
Light is stronger than darkness
Love is stronger than hate
For we know that our Redeemer lives
And we’ll stand with him on that day


One:
All this we pray in the name of the Father our Creator, the Son our Redeemer, and the Holy Spirit our Sustainer.

All: Amen.

holidays that make you feel like crap (?)

Three occasions I don't usually pay attention to - Valentine's Day, Family Day (here in Ontario), and the beginning of Lent - were all smooshed into the last few days, and they all tried really hard to make me feel like crap. On the 14th, I got a FB wall post from a guy I know saying "happy singles awareness day," my roommates all left me alone to be with their closest kin on Family Day (mine are currently in London, India, and Chicago), and Lent - well, you feel like you have to give up things you love.

I admit, my younger self would have given in to the evil plots of these days. Usually I hate V-day and shrug it off as a mere hallmark holiday, designed only by candy, chocolate, and flower companies to make a quick profit from the foolish and love-struck. In my even younger days i would have spent the day feeling sorry for myself that the only card i got was from my father, signed with, "Don't worry, you'll always be *my* valentine." But as I grew older, cynicism, i thought, was much wiser. Write it all off due to corporate manipulation, as smugness and self-righteousness is much better than loneliness.

As for Family Day, well, this is relatively new in Ontario and I've been away for the last 4 years, so we have no tense history together. But my younger self probably would have been sad that my nieces and nephews live so far away, and my parents were in India, and I don't ever see my cousins anymore, and my grandmother didn't get the last letter I wrote to her before she died.

And lent - well, this would have only conjured up vague and ill-placed sentiments about giving up chocolate, or giving up complaining (in my philosophical-ish days)for reasons I wasn't really sure why. It had no terrible place in my past, but it wasn't really important either.

But happily I am able to report, all three occasions failed in their attempts to drag me down. Tried as they might have, I beat off their efforts with a stick I like to call optimism.

I decided to redeem Valentine's Day by celebrating it's original intention - the people who I love in my life - rather than being sad about the people who aren't or angry at corporate manipulation. So I created a hand-made card for my non-romantic Valentine's Day date Trenko, an old friend from Queen's whom I kinda love to death. We had a good old fashioned date - made dinner, complete with wine, went to a movie, and talked and laughed for hours. Good times! At church the next day I gave out little loli-pop heart flowers, which I also made out of construction paper by hand, thank you very much. Even though a certain someone, who I may or may not have had a crush on at one point, commented that he hated V-day and burned one of the heart petals in the palm-ash fire we had outside (a tradition of the Anglican church, to burn last year's palm Sunday branches in order to get the ashes for Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent). Still, I remained cheery. And when another boy - who, of course, i don't have a crush on - overdid it a little by showering me with candy (my favourite, though - baby sour keys!), a store-bought sickly-sweet and sparkly card, and multiple card-board cut-outs of hearts and cupids, I remained rather calm, un-cynical, and appreciative. Afterwards, Chinese food with a table full of great friends to celebrate the Lunar New Year (also, it was Transfiguation Sunday, how's that for a jam-packed Post-Modern 3-in-1 celebration!) topped the day off with me feeling full and rather contented.

As for family day, I celebrated it with my brother (um, in the Lord) Kyle from Wycliffe, who drove more than one hour to see me and stayed for two nights on our living room futon. We watched multiple episodes of the Office, the phenomenal film Whale Rider, Martyn Joseph and Bruce Cockburn videos, read NT Wright articles out loud, danced to the new Josh Garrels song Zion and Babylon, ate all those sour keys, and made veggie pizza. When a boy called for me (the same one who showered me with gifts - and by the way, cannot speak hardly a word of English, being brand new to Canada from Mexico!) - he answered the phone, and we told him he was brother - perfect! Brother Kyle left after our meditative morning prayer service the next day at 8:08am, and as he drove away I somehow felt like I was part of the greatest family ever.

And now it is the first day of Lent, and this year, it is rather deep and meaningful. I belong now to a church that is very liturgical in it's practices, St. Anne's Anglican Church in Toronto (River is the name of the service - it's very creative and justice-seeking and wonderful). It's liturgical in the sense that it follows the ancient traditions of the Church in order to celebrate the whole story of God in a very rich and symbolic manner. The lectionary calendar is followed, meaning every day, week, and month, pertains to a certain event in the story of God as written in the Scriptures - the Creation, the Fall, the Exodus, the Wilderness, the Waiting, the Exile, the Liberation with the coming of the Messiah, the Crucifixion and Redemption, the Resurrection, the Ascension, the Future Hope - so that in one year, you've re-lived it all together as a community. So now we are in the season of Lent - the Wilderness, the Waiting, the Preparation for the Messiah culminating in his surrendered life, at Easter, and subsequent Resurrection, defeating the powers of death, slavery, and exile, and bringing restoration, redemption, and hope to the people of God.

So those are a lot of big words, and even bigger concepts which I am struggling still to understand - the mystery of it all is great. But this year, I am giving up something big in order to prepare myself for Easter - social connectedness, a.k.a, Facebook. It might seem like a silly thing to some, but honestly, for me, i pretty much love being in the loop, connected, wittily bantering with and sharing links and articles and vids and pics with friends. However, recently it's gotten to the point where I waste hours on Facebook, and not always because i want to be "social," but because I basically want to edit and control my image . With a new profile picture, a new quote, another comment here and inside joke there and witty one liner there, I become too obsessed with how I am perceived, that I micro-manage by online image to death. And it's starting to make me feel rather ill. So. I'm going to spend the time more wisely, doing the read and studying like a good seminary student should, and praying for the wisdom to not freakin' care so much about others think, and start caring more about how others are doing.

And so, holidays that would have at one point made me feel like crap, I throw my glass of water (that is now half full) in your face!